Columns

Dorothy’s Place: Downsizing

By Dorothy Denne

With political campaigns heating up, there is much talk about the economy; jobs being lost as with the Albertsons’ shut-downs, jobs being gained with new growth and seasonal hirings. It has reminded me of a column I wrote and first put to print in 1995. I dug it out of my files and you know what? If I had chosen not to tell you, you could read it without realizing it is a rerun. Not much has changed, either with the economy or my body!
“This morning as my body was grunting and groaning through my exercises, my mind was working too. I thought of friends who are out of work because businesses everywhere are tightening their budgets. They are downsizing. I thought of the misery that the act of downsizing brings.
My body interrupted my thoughts. I realized a couple of my exercises were a little harder to do. I’ve gained some weight. O Lordie, I need to tighten my diet. I need to downsize. What a terrible trauma for my little fat cells. They are probably all scampering around worrying. Who is going to get it? Which ones will the downsizing affect?
They have lived in a land of plenty for a long time. I haven’t been on a reducing diet for over ten years. Some of them, born after the end of that famine, have never been empty. Those little buggers have gotten very content. Lately, some have become over-stuffed. Many have even produced offspring.
Some are quite stable and have remained in the same area for their entire lives. Others have gotten mobile. They have migrated, mostly from my fingers and ear lobes, to the wide open spaces of my middle. Now the middle is becoming overcrowded. It has grown to the limits of the present clothing. The elastic has stretched to the max and the fabric is literally bursting at the seams. It is definitely time to downsize.
I can cut back. I can empty out some of the fat cells. I can empty them but I can’t make them go away. When I stop feeding them they will hold on to their present contents as long as they can. They will become very efficient and learn how to survive on less and less. Every little morsel that enters into my body will be seized by the hungry cells. Though many will lose most of their contents, they will survive despite their nearly empty state. All those little under-employed cells will be watching for every opportunity. I will have to work harder and harder to remain downsized and in my new clothes.
Eventually I’ll decide I have a little room to grow. A little added intake now and then will provide manna for my starving cells. They will fill again and in their happiness they will reproduce. My body will expand once more. The new elastic, too, will stretch to the max and the seams will stress.
Downsizing is such a misery causing process. As long as I will ultimately expand again anyway, I think I’ll just skip the downsizing and opt for continual growth. I’ll buy new, larger size clothes. That will help the economy which will help the unemployed. My friends will be happy. My fat cells will be happy. I will be happy. I just won’t bend over!”

October 4, 2012

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